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March 30th, 2005
09:03 pm - out w/ the old, in w/ the new...?
say goodbye to this journal. check out the new one...young_x3_love
peace out.
<3
liz
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March 25th, 2005
06:33 pm - BLAHHHHHHHH
omgsh i'm so bored right now! but other than that today was pretty good. i had my interview this morning, which i had to unfortunately get up early for. it was worth it in the long run b/c I GOT THE JOB! yahoo for me! after that, i came home and put comfy pants and a hoodie on, and sat for like 2 seconds before i went w/ my stepdad to pick up bill from school. we got home, and my mom said tony called, so naturally i was pissed that i wasn't home to talk to him. i talked to him at like 5 though so it was ok. angela called and we talked forever and it was nice. we don't do the whole long phone call thing very often, so it's cool when we do. a little bit ago i dyed my bro's hair like JET black. it looks sweet i think. he wants me to like highlight some parts too, but we're doing that tomorrow. and now, i'm just being sleepy, missing tony, and listening to some awesome fall out boy to pass the time. god i miss him so much. it's terribly pathetic. oh well. life goes on...
</3
lizzie
Current Mood:  drained
Current Music: holding out for a hero--frou frou
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March 24th, 2005
05:38 pm - crap
yea so this definately sucks. spring break starts today, and *suprise* i'm for sure not going anywhere. shocking i know. but tony's going to chicago for like 4 days and i'm gonna go crazy w/ out him. i'm not going to get to see him, and i'll barely be able to talk to him. it's so sad! i wish i could be w/ him like when the easter bunny comes and all that bullshit...he's leaving today, and said he might be able to call me before he goes, but i'm thinking that he's already gone. it's lame yea, but i miss him ALREADY! i hope that the rest of spring break doesn't turn out shitty. me and angela and mom are most likey gonna hang out, and me and A want to have a sleep over so i can watch all the cool movies i've never seen. oh, and i have an interview tomorrow at mcdonalds. it's kind of embarrassing, but it's a job, and it's MONEY that i definately don't have right now. i made $1 in tips today haha! sweet little old ladies...
today was alright though. half day, so me, angela, and hailey all went to mom's house and ate ice cream at like 9:30am. it was sweet, then we went to taco bell and i swear the whole fucking school was there. betsy was there, steve, and a bunch of other faggots. speaking of faggots, there's about 34098 of them at cos. they think they're cool by TATTELING and ruining everything for everyone, especially people who don't even do anything wrong. wow, that's pretty stupid. GR! but i think i'm going to go pout about tony...wah!
<3
liz
Current Mood:  disappointed
Current Music: let us know--koufax
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March 16th, 2005
09:07 pm - such is life...
geez, i haven't written in here for like a year. i guess everything's been decent since the last time i updated. there's been some ups and downs, but life's like that sometimes. i feel a little stressed right now, but it's slowly fading. and lately i've felt like i'm sitting in the shadows of everything, kinda like being ignored. oh well. at least things w/ me and angela are somewhat back to normal. well, i think they are anyways. we hung out friday and went to will's band thing. it was ok, and then she spent the nite like old times. it's good to be best bests again...
things w/ me and tony have been incredible lately. i've never loved him so much. i've never felt like this about anyone...EVER. we've hung out alot over the past week, and today was our 6 month anniversary. i was so happy all day, i feel like a turd but oh well. i love him and i don't care who knows it!! i can honestly see myself w/ him forever, as scary as that is. most people think that i'm just stupid and retarded b/c i want to marry him, but that's their problem.
other than that, same shit, different day. i sometimes feel the sadness coming back every now and then. it just lingers, never stays...thank god. i don't think i could handle that again. but, in the words of chris.."i'm allergic to my life"...
xox
Liz
Current Mood:  loved
Current Music: last dance with mary jane--tom petty
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March 5th, 2005
09:51 pm - i wish it would ALL go back to normal!!!!!
since i'm not very good w/ words, i'll do it this way.
angela, i know that it doesn't seem like it AT ALL, but i'm really glad to know that you care so much about me. i know that i should show my appreciation more, but that's never been one of my strengths. i'll never be able to live w/ out you, and i'm so sorry if i make you feel pushed away. if anything, it's the opposite of that. who else would listen to me complain about all my problems for hours and hours??...nobody, that's who. tony is a big part of my life, but you have just as much of an important role as he does. i'm IN love w/ him, but i love you too. you're like family, and always have been. i know i can be a bit of a gay ass sometimes, but i'm trying. i don't ever want to be the one who makes you feel unwanted, or unloved. you are seriously my other half. we've had way too many fun times and way too many laughs and bonding moments to throw it all away over a boy. best friends...forever, as far as i'm concerned. it's impossible to make things "how they used to be", but only b/c we've both changed. not in bad ways though. we've just grown up, as gross as that is. but i wouldn't want to grow up w/ anybody but you. you've helped me more times that i can even count. you've seen me at my best, and at my worst. from the days of getting kicked out of ms. strutz's class, to shitties on the garbage can and pissing in cups in my room. we shared so many important moments together, and i wouldn't want it to be any other way. no matter what, you will always be my best friend, no matter what boys may, at times, stand in the way. we have too good of a friendship to let it all go. i'm sorry for everything, and i hope that we can get through this shit...
<3
liz
Current Mood: lonely
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March 2nd, 2005
05:23 pm - PLEASE, just say it isn't over...
so i guess this is it. the end is near...i can just tell. i've felt like that for a week or so, but i never EVER thought that it would become real. i think tony's gonna break up w/ me in the next week or so. i can feel it in my gut. i've never felt this shitty in my whole life. it's almost like it's all a horrible nightmare, and any second i'll wake up, safe and normal in my bed. i can't live w/ out him. i swear, i'll die. we're MEANT to be together..soul mates and all that bullshit. we match, we love each other. why does it have to be like this? why did things have to go from being perfect, to completely falling apart? ARGH! i feel like nobody understands. i see everyone w/ their boyfriends and girlfriends, smiling and kissing, and there i am, standing around in the shadows, watching and wishing that i could be like that again. i'd give ANYTHING to make things go back to normal. i feel like dying...
...stole this...
When i look into your eyes
I see nothing but your tears
everything has faded its been a couple years
when life is over so will my fears
Your the only one who matters,
Your were there
when i needed you the most
evertime i thought of you
i thought about the past
thinking about how life goes by fast
your beautiful smile
you beautiful face
just to think all that has been erased
your there in my heart
your not there when i cry
just want to let you know
im never saying good bye
I'll never forget you in all my years
The words you said to me that ment alot
the words that will stay i havent forgot,
That day I found out you got hurt
I started to cry its like my heart burst,
I wish I was there to help you out
Instead I have to stay far scream and shout,
I miss you more as everyday passes....
i don't even know...i just don't know anymore..
</3
liz
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Light With A Sharpened Edge--the used
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February 27th, 2005
12:34 pm - bored.bored.bored
Current Mood:  thirsty
Current Music: i caught fire--the used
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February 26th, 2005
02:41 pm - good, but still not perfect...
i guess things w/ me and tony are back to the way they should be. well, kind of. we hung out yesterday for the first time in a while, and everything was awesome. actually all of yesterday was good. we didn't have cos, so when i got home at like 11 my mom took me shopping. we went to sallys to get all my shit that i need for cos, and we went to walmart and out to eat. then i came home and did her nails and waxed her eyebrows and hung around and showered and got ready b/c tony was gonna come get me at like 4ish. he came over and chilled for a while b/c i had to paint my nails. we went to his house, and things were looking like nothing was going to change. well, they did change finally (thank god!!) and i was EXTREMELY happy. after though, he was a little upset over things that aren't even a big deal. i found out why he wanted to wait for so long...i dunno, it doesn't matter to me either way, but he doesn't care. he's getting over it though. but we watched tv i guess and listened to country...EW, and just layed and talked for a few hours. it was really really nice. then i came home and made smores in the microwave and made a HUGE mess so i was upset about that. and now i think i'm going to give my sister a manicure and pedicure, then make cookies and chillax for the rest of the day. tony may call later tonite, but we'll see...
<3
liz
Current Mood:  okay
Current Music: breathe from a coma--hopesfall
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February 24th, 2005
05:48 pm - is the juice REALLY worth the squeeze???
i'm so upset about everything. first of all, courtney was here, but i was the ONLY loser that didn't get to see her. tony was being mean about it too, and i was even crying and everything. basically he's been mean about everything lately. i don't care, quitting chewing is NO reason to be so mean to me. it's sad too b/c other people are starting to notice how i just ignore ALL of his bullshit. it's easier to ignore it, otherwise it just causes more probelms than i need. today was crappy b/c of that too. i don't know...i guess i was being "annoying" and he told me to leave him alone. then he said that he prolly won't call me tonite for who knows why. whatever. i was talking to chad about it last nite and earlier today. he's good for stuff like this. he listens and doesn't pass judgement, it's nice. but still, it sucks. and to make things just that much better, me and angela seem to be drifting again. all we do now is play w/ the boys. yea it's cool and stuff, but seriously, what the hell happend to girls nite? we don't even have those anymore. now, there has to be a REASON to hang out, it can't just be b/c we feel like it. as of rite now, my life sucks. it's hard and i DO NOT like it one bit. i just feel like crying...
</3
liz
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: drive away--gratitude
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February 23rd, 2005
09:25 pm - ick
i'm really bored and i like this song. i probly have some crap to update on, but i don't exactly feel up to it at the moment. give me a few days...
So why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings?
It's starting to get old
That story yet untold
Reflect before we walk into
What we already know
Won't be so easy
Looking back at high school drama
Didn't try to fix what we thought were problems
Done with writing empty letters
Is there no other way?
Staring at your reflection every day
Can make or break my heart away
When you won't listen to what's hard for me to say
Those tear stained eyes can make me feel so sad
And once again we're further away from what we never had
So why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings?
Just run away with so much left to share
It's just not enough
When we're so much more than friends
We're much too young to throw away our cares
There's no sense in regretting what's been said in our yesterdays
We can't take back what's done
We can look ahead
And I would walk so much further just to know what I'm doing here
And there's no end to what I'd give to know just what you meant when you said
How can I feel alive when we can't help but break our backs just to survive?
Is this another time we can't control our lives?
Those tear stained eyes can make me feel so sad
And once again we're further away from what we never had
So why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings?
Just run away with so much left to share
It's just not enough
When we're so much more than friends
We're much too young to throw away our cares
How can I feel alive when we can't help but break our backs just to survive?
Is this another time we can't control our lives?
Those tear stained eyes can make me feel so sad
And once again we're further away from what we never had
So why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings?
Just run away with so much left to share
It's just not enough
When we're so much more than friends
We're much too young to throw away our cares
much love
xoxox
liz
Current Mood: crappy
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